I was discussing some of the differences between men and women with a coworker. She asked if I thought it was possible for a man to fall in love, exclusively dedicated to one woman. The question itself was very telling as I knew she had given up
on men.
Without hesitation I answered, “Yes”.
She pressed the subject, recalling how her husbands all cheated on her. Another coworker mentioned she knew beyond a shadow of any doubt that her husband loved her exclusively and that cheating was not a male-only activity. The conversation continued without resolution.
I thought about this later. The one thing a woman needs to know is that her man loves her and dedicates his life to her for all time.
In the confusion of trauma, our brains are messed up. I had doubts and fears. I needed to know that she honored and respected me. How could she respect me when I had been so severely taken advantage? I had no respect or confidence in myself. I was falling apart from within, crumbling. Not realizing that I was barely a shell ready to crumble.
Gentlemen. She needs to know how much you love her. She might not know that you took the bullet or her. She might not know that you protected her and others. All she knows is that you lay dying in the gutter.
Obviously, I do not have any answers. The question is already asked.
When our brain is damaged, when our personality changes, when we have no confidence or strength left, when our language is gone, when we are so severely injured, how can we confidently approach the one we love and tell her that everything is all right?
ceg
Written 10/1/17