My son died at 35 from alcohol poisoning. He had been an alcoholic from a young age and he refused to quit. I was not shocked at the news of his death because intellectually I knew that drinking as much as he did for as long as he did could not end well.
When I heard the news (on a voicemail from my hysterically sobbing daughter) I left work and went home. I was crying, of course, but at the same time the lyrics of a Christian worship song was in my head for at least 4 hours. A song based on Psalms 121. Over and over the lyrics went and I remember saying out loud “I trust You Lord” Peace flooded me and I believe I was healed of the worst of the trauma.
I grieved, but was also angry with him. It took some time for the anger to dissipate. I missed him so much as we were very close, of the 3 kids I had, he called me the most often. He was a loss to me but I just keep reminding myself that he did this to himself. This is my coping mechanism.
Then, a few days ago, I decided to look at Facebook and there, immediately, I saw his handsome smiling face, his picture posted by his sister who loved him so much. I fell apart weeping. Why? Because I was not prepared for the sight of that beloved face, it crept up on me unawares. My mechanism was not in place.
But God is faithful to His children and I continue to look to the hills from whence cometh my help.
Lynn