How are we damaged in Divorce? I took these chapters to my small group. We had a very profitable discussion. We can look at this from the perspective of the abused, the abuser, the children, etc. One suggestion was that the child may see the divorce as a good thing. That tells a story doesn’t it? So use these chapters as a discussion point. Fill them in for yourself. The point is there is damage, before, during and after. That damage must be repaired to be healthy.
Level one: Physiological needs. Mom used to cook for us, now she doesn’t. Dad used to provide for us, now the state provides. We used to have a house, now we don’t, or we moved.
Level two: Safety: The routine is broken. The stability gone or maybe stability arrives.
evel three: Love needs. Rejection and separation has destroyed this level or maybe there is no longer the threat of violence.
Level four: Esteem needs: I caused it. Or maybe I am no longer being called worthless.
A look at how divorce damages our aspects of life.
1) Physical: Physically, we are separated from our loved one, but that is different from a damage to us bodily. Many psychological injuries show up in our bodies in physical ways: ulcers, stress, eating habits, etc.
2) Emotional: We lost a loved one. The emotions are severely damaged.
3) Psychological: We may blame ourselves. Tis depends on the amount of abuse that was received hihis depends on the amount of abuse we received before the separation. Even if the divorce is a result of abuse, there is a separation, there are always questions. Things just are not right.
4) Cognitive: With this much stress, there is going to be some kind of cognitive relapse. One cannot think straight when so much turmoil is going on.
5) Spiritual: Weather or not we blame God or the breakup, there is damage. If we are at fault, how can God bless us? There is always a consequence for sin.
6) Sexual: Obviously the partners of divorce are affected here. The children no longer have an example of a healthy marriage. 7) Financial: The lawyers get rich. Everyone else loses.
8) Relational: There is no example of healthy relationships to the children.
9) Social: The social stability of a family is broken.
10) Environmental: When divorce becomes the norm, healthy environment is gone.
No wonder God says, “I Hate divorce.”
Maslow and theft