The base of Maslow’s pyramid is basic physiological needs: air, food, water, sleep, shelter, warmth, etc. Without air, we die in minutes. Without oxygen to our brain, damage will occur within ten minutes. This is what happens in strokes.
A person can live without water for a month or so. Remember Terri Schiavo? After she had a massive heart attack causing brain injury and was unable to talk or move, her husband petitioned the Florida Court to have water kept from her. She died the horrible death of dehydration. He collected the million dollar insurance.
We cannot live without water. Her brain injury came from a lack of oxygen to the brain. Without oxygen, our nerve cells receive damage within three minutes, permanent damage within twenty minutes. Without food, we die in months. Cancer victims lose their taste buds and stop eating. Karen Carpenter, hears some disc jockey saying she is fat and stops eating. War and drought victims die from starvation. Without food we die.
Next comes shelter to keep us warm during the winter and cool during the summer and dry when it rains. There are many stories of people who catch cold during a rain storm and later die or freeze to death because they could not get out of the cold.
I know a man who lost his job, because he lost his job, he lost his position at the shelter. He died sleeping on a park bench one cold night. Actually, that story goes deeper. He had withdrawn from society and stopped talking to people because his girlfriend jilted him. I did not learn about this until after he had died.
My purpose here is to assess some kind of risk factor to the hierarchy of needs. In the first category, if the needs are not met, we die. The higher risk with no oxygen, and the lower risk of no shelter. Unfortunately, I am not able to place a numbered scale to this. The best I can come up with is “Days till death”.
The second category, after these basic needs are met, is Safety. This includes order, stability, limits, security, protection and law.
A child, growing up in a healthy home, has the structure, order, stability, protection, limits and comfort of family. However, when the child leaves home to go to college, these are threatened or removed. The risk factor increases. Here, there are many diverging paths. What if the home life is not safe? Incest, for example threatens the very core of safety and stability. What if there are mental health issues at home? Protection and stability may be affected. Death in the family can shatter these. Drugs can violate safety. Maybe something as simple as “momma not letting go” threatens our growth potential. Maybe the order and stability was taught in such a manner that it is not understood by the child. I wish there were a way to place a number describing our risk factors.
I recall a stress test where moving, changing jobs, etc. is given a number and if one accumulates these stressors above a certain level the chances of acquiring a stress related disease increases. On the other hand, we now know that it is the stressing over stress that causes the damage. Therefore, I invite anyone who wants, to create and build a chart describing risk factors of vulnerability to the effects of trauma.
In either case, when a person moves, leaves the safety, the risk factors increase. What happens when one is unprepared to provide for one’s basic safety needs of life?
The third layer in this pyramid is “Belonging and Love needs”: Family, friends, work groups, relationships, and affection. The need for love and belonging is a very great need. If one does not find this in family, one will seek it somewhere else. If, for any reason the “Safe” relationships of family are damaged, then one will look for this level of comfort elsewhere. As we will discuss later, this can be and is often very dangerous.
In my case, I wrote a letter asking my first love to marry me. She never responded. In fact, she stopped writing and talking to me all together. It took forty years to realize she never got that letter. At the same time, I chased her away in order to protect her. She got that letter. There I was, wondering why she never even bothered to answer my offer of marriage. There she was wondering why I turned into such a jerk.
Actually, since this writing, I have learned this is not true. She did receive that letter, she could read my question. However, this was my best guess at the time of this writing and was very important to me at that time. Therefore, although I now know it I false, I am leaving it as it is.
Let’s talk about the college kid, again. When one leaves for school, family, friends and other relationships are left behind. This increases the student’s vulnerability and is often displayed in the form of homesickness. Predators know that freshmen are vulnerable. Hence colleges become a good feeding ground for rapists and pedophiles. Not satisfied with college age children, predators have moved into the younger grades. Every year we hear of younger and younger children being abused. This is possible because parents may still be in recovery or overworked. Today’s drugs and alcohol make it easy to render a victim incapable of response. The psychological effects of trauma traps a victim. Escape is nearly impossible because the brain shuts down.
The fourth layer is esteem needs. This includes responsibility, achievements, reputation and status. I hope by now you can see where extreme trauma has already threatened and destroyed this level of needs. Here, where character is born and developed, the very essence of one’s character is shaken. Other people respond when they see this character change. Stable people abandon victims.
Damage at any layer produces damage to higher levels. All four of these levels must be healthy in order to allow a person to become self-motivated and contribute to society.
As I write this, it is becoming clearer what my role as a parent should have been. My role as a parent is to raise a competent generation able to meet this vicious world. This is why I have moved “Sex” to a higher level. Raising a successful family needs healthy parents. Fortunately, there are a lot of people writing about this and help is available if one knows enough to ask for it.
Conclusion: While it is difficult to place an actual number on the varying risk factors, it is obvious that certain events increase and decrease risk. Recognizing these risks factors helps us prepare ourselves and others. Or, maybe we can avoid them altogether.
Homework: think back at one or two of the events that damaged you. How were you vulnerable at that time? How can you prepare so that damage is minimized if this should happen again?
A further Discussion on Damage