The Cognitive: Here I am taking a definition which follows close to the intellect. Not only does this include one’s ability to learn skills, but also what one learns and how. One can have the innate ability to absorb all kinds of stimuli, facts and data, but if the data is in error, the mind is not necessarily healthy. Nevertheless, the ability to take in and interpret information is a mark of mental health. Trauma can affect and reverse this ability.
What do you know and why do you know it? How do you know it is true? This is an important question because what we have learned forms our worldview becoming a filter filtering everything we are exposed to. If something does not fit into our worldview, we reject it. Those thoughts will not enter our brain (Unless we are traumatized or drugged). We need to have a standard by which we judge the ideas entering our head. We need to make certain this standard is true. As a Christian, I believe the Bible is true. This becomes my standard along with the reality of a personal relationship with God, Our Creator, forming my worldview. With an external standard, I trust in a truth that is not dependent on myself. I can be damaged: Truth remains.
Some people say truth is relative: There is no absolute truth. Really? Is this true?
What is absolute truth? Absolute truth is something that is true for all people at all times. Two plus two is four. Mathematics is absolute. The laws of physics are absolute. The laws of nature are absolute. Likewise, the laws of God are absolute.
The problem occurs when we are traumatized, if we were drugged, the filtering network is disabled. In these instances garbage can enter and we become very confused. We have two sets of worldviews in our head: The one filtered, and the other unfiltered. Our head then becomes a battleground until we are eventually able to recognize and expel all the unfiltered thoughts.
Even without drugs, trauma affects our cognitive skills. There are technical reasons for this. Chemicals and hormones released in the brain during trauma inhibits and sometimes reverses cognitive learning. In the Maslow chart, if we are not safe, we cannot learn.
Fortunately, these effects are reversible. As we heal, as the stressors are reduced, our cognitive abilities will return. Over time, as we review our memories, we are able to sort and filter these events.
A child may see abuse, or receive abuse, then act it out. Maybe all that child needs is someone to gently take him aside and say, “No, Johnny, it is wrong to hit other people. I know that you saw your dad hit your mother, but it was wrong wasn’t it? What do you think Johnny? What is the correct way to treat others? What should have happened?”
Could it be the reason our brain keeps bringing up these reoccurring nightmares / memories is because we need to finally say to ourselves, “What we have seen, what we have experienced was wrong. What is the correct way to treat others? What is healthy?”
There was a point in time when I thought of placing this chapter after the “Physical” chapter because I think this is the second easiest chapter to describe. The art of teaching has been around since the beginning. In the animal kingdom, many instincts are hardwired into animals. Each species of bird makes its own unique kind of nest. Certain fish, birds and animals migrate back to their spawning grounds to give birth. Some have winter and summer homes and they travel certain routes each year. Bats and butterflies follow the routes of generations. These behaviors are hardwired into the thinking process of animals. Meanwhile, a human is helpless in its infancy. A horse or gazelle is ready to run and play within hours of birth. For humans, however, these things need taught. A newborn cannot feed itself. Cannot communicate, cannot run and jump. Everything must be learned over time. Teaching is a fundamental responsibility of the parents. Yet, even this must be learned while at the same time, bad habits must be unlearned.
Sometimes, we try so hard to get it right the first time, it paralyses us. Take this book for example: I want to write truth. I want to get it right the first time, but I am learning as I write. What do I do? Stop writing until I know all the answers? Continue writing and edit errors out later? Leave the errors in and invite you to edit and think about what I am saying hoping you will add to this process of discovering what a whole and healthy person is? I hope you will apply these faulty principles to your life, expand on them and grow healthy yourself. That is the purpose of this book isn’t it? To share my adventure of recovery in the hopes you can add to them and recover health yourself. I should leave blank pages so you can add to this process.
By the time I was in first grade, my mom had taught me to read using phonics. At one point, I discovered the instructions in the workbook were written between the stapled binding and the perforated edge of the worksheet. I read the instructions and started working ahead. When I handed in the completed papers, the teacher asked me how I knew what to do. I told her I read and followed the instructions written in the workbook. “Oh, you aren’t supposed to know how to read those words yet.” As a young child I took that to mean “slow down and stop learning until the class catches up.” From that point on, I was a perfect “C” student. “Blend in and don’t over achieve.”
What lies have damaged us?
I doubt it was the intention of my teacher to inhibit my learning and squelch my curiosity. We must look carefully at the damage we have received along life’s way. Off handed remarks understood incorrectly can do as much or more damage to us than an intentional “You’re ugly! You’re stupid!” by our pears. Investigating and repairing cognitive damage is difficult. After all, how do we know where we were damaged in our thinking process? It is the way we think.
Philosophers have thought long and hard about these matters. What is truth? How do I know there is a truth? I mentioned earlier, “Absolute Truth is something that is always true for all generations for all time.” “I think, therefore I am.” May be a profound starting point, but I hope you are far beyond simply acknowledging your existence.
Actually, this is an important concept that escaped me until now. In Christianity, the concept goes further. The Christin concept of the individual is as follows:
“You are (I am) a special and unique individual created by God at this time, to perform a special and unique task in life. No one can accomplish this task the way God designed, except you.”
This is the doctrine or concept of “special creation”. Usually, it applies to the role of humans on this planet: “God created the universe especially so humans have a (Goldilocks) place to live, then He created humans to take care of His creation.” But the uniqueness of both you and me, the individual, and the individual task to which each us is designed, is important to our Creator, God. We are so important to Him, that this world will be incomplete if we do not complete our task. This is why discovering the damage preventing us from achieving our full potential, and learning to use this damage to grow stronger is so important – not only to ourselves as a person, but even to God who created us for this certain purpose.
There are many false religions out there and variations of the one true religion. I will speak more on this in the chapter concerning religion, but, let me say here that God wants to have an individual and intimate relationship with each one of us. If this is not your experience, then pray to Him so He will reveal Himself to you. He will. God will not turn away anyone who honestly seeks Him.
At the same time, there are false sciences out there. We must be careful in what we learn. One of the greatest false religions and false sciences is the religion of atheism masquerading as the false doctrine or “science” of evolution. Here I will only remind you, “What is science?” Science is something that is observable, measureable and repeatable. Evolution has never been observed, it is not repeatable in the laboratory or in the real world, and it cannot be measured. Therefore, it is not a science, but a religion. True or false?
What happens to the brain during rape? The search deferred us to “What happens to the brain during trauma.” This is when I realized that all trauma is the same. It doesn’t matter if the trauma is rape, or bullying in school. Trauma is Trauma. The aspects of injury may be different. A physical trauma is one thing, a psychological trauma damages a different area of the brain. I believe the reason God placed these most important parts of the brain deep in the denter of the brain is to protect it from physical injury. When we hit our head, part of the cognitive areas of the brain may be affected. But the core of the brain, who we are is kept safe. Unfortunately, Emotional trauma is a physical damage to the core of the brain. Damage is damage. Trauma is Trauma.
During trauma, the brain releases certain chemicals. These chemicals act as switches turning off and on different parts of the brain. If uncontrolled such as during extreme stress or trauma, it will change the way we think.
Here, I would like to refer you to the appendices where I have included articles involving brain research and the effects trauma has on the brain. These show why our cognitive ability is affected after and during a trauma. This is why victims of rape or other traumas think differently from people who have not been traumatized.
I asked the girl I call “Sally” to tell me her story. She was maybe twelve. The character “Leo” was her dad’s age.
I do remember. [I, my dad and a neighbor, Leo, were unloading furniture into a storage shed. Leo took me aside and] was just rubbing his hands on me. Telling me to kiss him. Asking me to kiss him back: “Come on give me a kiss. You like kissing me don’t you?” Telling me to tell him I love him: “You love me don’t you? Tell me you love me.” That I liked it: “You like it don’t you? Tell me you like it.”
My body was paralyzed in fear. I tried to scream out to [my dad] but my voice would not work. I tried to run, but my feet would not move. All I could see was him. Even the surrounding background was blurred, just he was in my vision. All I could do was respond to him. My voice worked when he told me to reply but only to what he told me to say or do. I remember my dad taking the boxes from the back of the trailer to put in the unit then going to untie the front of the trailer. Dad called out as he came to the back of the trailer. “Hey guys! How’s it going?” His voice is what broke the “control.” Leo took his hands off me. My feet were able to move again. My voice worked. I was able to run to my dad. He stopped and prevented any more from happening.
… I left home way before that occurred. I have had other sexual abuse to me also. However cannot recall it. Mostly I choose not to. One was a date rape.
6) Spiritual